I was recently asked if I ever experienced homesickness on exchange. Even though I loved exchange so much, nothing is perfect, and being hours away from Queen’s and my family definitely added to that. Homesickness looks different than I expected. It is not some dramatic breakdown or movie moment. It usually hits in quiet, random ways. Maybe you are sitting in a cafe after class, or walking home alone at night, and it suddenly registers that you are far from everything and everyone you know. Not in a bad way, just in a way that feels unfamiliar.
At the start of exchange, I assumed homesickness would be a “first week” thing. The grocery store confusion. Figuring out transit. Realizing that every appliance works slightly differently. But what surprised me was that the feeling sometimes came back months later. Sometimes it showed up on days when everything was going well. I could be proud of myself for adapting and still feel that small pull toward home. It is a weird mix of growing, learning, and still wishing you could teleport back for a night.
What I eventually realized is that homesickness is less about missing a place and more about missing ease. Back home, your life runs on autopilot. You do not have to think about where to go, how to ask for something, or whether you are accidentally breaking some unspoken rule. On exchange, everything requires a little extra effort. Even fun days can be exhausting because you are constantly adjusting to something new.
There were moments when I felt exactly like the adventurous person I told everyone I would be. And there were also moments where I would have done anything to sit at my own kitchen table, drink my usual coffee, and not think about anything at all. You start missing things you never thought twice about, just because of how familiar they were.
The biggest shift for me was realizing that feeling homesick doesn’t cancel out having a good experience. You can miss home and still love where you are. You can be independent and still want the comfort of people who know you without explanation. Both can exist at the same time.
What helped was not trying to get rid of the feeling but just acknowledging it when it showed up. Calling someone. Going for a walk. Doing something that reminded me of my normal routine back home. Usually that was enough.
Eventually, things changed. The city started to feel more manageable. I stopped second guessing myself so much. I built routines and friendships. And then, without noticing it, the place that once felt temporary started feeling like another version of home. And the irony is that when I finally left, I ended up feeling homesick for the South of France too.